what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
