talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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