We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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