Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
