He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
