I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
