The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
