i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
