i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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