i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
