what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
