This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
