mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
