he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
