Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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