Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
