I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I AM VODKA MAN
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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