I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
