im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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