We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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