just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
