Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
