I wannas sexs uuuuu
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
