We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Who died my cat blue again?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
