hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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