I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
