Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
