Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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