At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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