I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
