So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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