I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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