I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
