I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
