just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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