he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize