How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dicks are not precious.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize