I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
