haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
