I looked at my own cervix.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
