yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
