I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
