He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
