just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
