that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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