After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
