isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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