Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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