i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
