There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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