you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
