im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
