That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
