Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
