wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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