Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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