I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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