do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize