Soap is not a condiment
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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