in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize