every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
